I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize