My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
