my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
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