So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
