I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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