Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
