Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
