My girlfriend figured out who you are.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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