Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize