No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
