He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
