I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
