...so i touched it.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
