Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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