You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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