PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
