Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
