out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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