And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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