11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Randomize
