He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
