Do vagina's smell?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
