the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
i think i just lost a toe
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
God, I missed his penis.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
