Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Naked Twister starts at high noon
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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