dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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