My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
