I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Randomize
