seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
