I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
