Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Randomize
