What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Randomize
