I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
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