I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
