No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
