I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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