I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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