if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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