When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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