is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
