names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize