You smell like stripper and shame
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
