Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize