seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
