You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
