my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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