Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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