Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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