I want to stick my p in your. b.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
