just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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