dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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