some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
