Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
This is the high leading the old right now
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
