Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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