the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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