Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
