it wasn't lemon gatorade
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
