Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
