matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
oh god the rape fog is back!
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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