my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I just gift wrapped bread.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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