I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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