do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize