HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
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