Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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