I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
