and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
