fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
