it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
my penis made a compromise with my morals
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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