absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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