Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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