Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
